The man you never were.

You will try to be 

the kind of man you never were.

You will leave early every morning 

kissing her goodbye smiling

Once you will turn your back, 

your eyes will close 

you will start breathing real air

your lungs will fill up with the relief of distance

like you did so many times before.

In the evenings you will seat on the couch

answering the small talk and painless chat about harmless topics

the weather tomorrow, 

an earthquake somewhere far away, maybe,

your absent part echoing whatever she says, you don't care

You will talk as if nothing happens

playing your role so perfectly 

you can deceive anyone now.

The weekends will be harder,

all day at home is too difficult to handle

You will be tired and lonesome

all the muscles in your body will beg you to stop

Breakfast, lunch, dinner

always at the same time

at the same table

Saturdays, long walks out, anywhere

hardly ever alone 

because she doesnt trust you anymore,

even when you are alone

Sundays, the same monotonus rhythm

just before going to bed

you will catch yourself wandering

"what would have happened if..." 

And then

you will gain again your so called "determination"

and you will have to smile

to show you have changed 

into the man you never were...